The Culture of Pink
As far back as I can remember, breast cancer has been a part of our family. I was in my early 20’s when my Aunt Brenda was diagnosed for the first time. She lived more than 30 years longer and fought breast cancer twice more before the cancer spread and eventually took her from us this past year. She lived a long, full, beautiful life, due to a great extent to the advances in diagnosis and treatment of breast cancer in the past decades. Also during that time, breast cancer became a much bigger part of our family, affecting my mother, my paternal grandmother, one of my paternal aunts and my sister.
Too many lives touched, too much pain and fear. It needs to end. I have a daughter and two granddaughters. They were born into a family with 3 generations of breast cancer history. I don’t want one of them to ever have to hear a doctor say the words, “You have breast cancer.” They are why I walk.
I first heard of the Susan G. Komen 3-Day for the Cure several years ago when I watched hundreds of men and women in pink walk past the office where I was working. The timing was such that I couldn’t participate then but the 3-Day became one of those “I’m going to do that some day” things. A few years ago when my sister was diagnosed, “some day” arrived. This was no longer my mom’s generation or my grandmothers. Breast cancer has now reached my generation. That’s scary as hell. Her diagnosis was the push I needed to step outside my personal comfort zone and do something. The time to talk was over. It was time to walk the walk. Literally.
Lauren, a first time Walker in SF Bay, expressed a similar reason for walking, “I walk because I can. I walk because I don’t want future generations to know what Breast Cancer is. I walk for the women who have showed me that you can have cancer, but cancer doesn’t have to have you. There is life during and after cancer. I walk because I believe every step we took brought us one step closer to curing cancer.” Prior to my first walk experience, I assumed that the Walkers and Crew were there for the same reason I was, because they or someone they love has/had been affected. Bernie, who has participated in several Walks, 7 times as a Walker and once on the Crew, has a very personal reason for walking and personifies my pre-Walk assumption, “My wife Mary was diagnosed with Breast Cancer in 1991. January to be exact. In April she had a mastectomy and then did nine months of intense chemo. If we had waited six months she would have had no hope. But thanks to research, new drugs, a great oncologist named Dr. Alan Edelstein and his staff, and her incredibly positive attitude she lived for 15 years… She passed away April 12, 2005. We ended up walking that year in Boston not only to honor her but in memory of her. I will walk til I can't and then I will crew. I know so many people that have been affected by this disease and want to help.”
I’m not sure why I was surprised to find that others had reasons, many unrelated to breast cancer, for participating. Many people who responded to my survey walked because of the challenge. Abby, a Walker in PA, wrote that she was walking because she was turning 30 and felt like she was getting old and needed to do something. Amy, who walked in Tampa Bay, similarly wrote that she had friends who encouraged her to walk with them and it was on her 42nd birthday so she decided she wanted to take the challenge. Aymee, who has walked twice and crewed twice in Atlanta, wrote of a fitness challenge with an interesting twist, “I'm a camper and so when I read about the walk I wanted to share the experience of completing a 60 mile walk, raising money for breast cancer, and sleeping in a pink tent!”
According to the Susan G. Komen organization, the statistics for the first 12 of this year’s Walks show a total of nearly 28,000 participants. Of this total, about 3,500 were men, which means they make up approximately 12.6% of the total participants. Of the 55 people who responded to my online survey, 7 were men which is 14% of the overall responses thus my survey represents a statistically accurate reflection of the overall group. One of the men, Nelson, had a very emotionally charged story. His reasons for walking really stuck home for me. He not only walked for his wife, a survivor, but also had a very personal revelation to share, “Walking for the 3 Day meant being part of something that is positive for me on every imaginable level. On an exterior level, I raised money for a great cause, and I supported my wife. On an interior level, I provided myself with many months of motivation to exercise. Through recent introspection, I have realized that in periods of my life where I was working on a big goal, i.e. a college degree, I have done well and have thrived - both on obtaining those goals and in secondary goals as well. Without a large dragon to slay on the horizon, I have struggled. Komen was a central personal mission for me for over a year and it yielded benefits to me beyond my expectations.”
As I noted above, Nelson’s response spoke to me and, when I thought about what he wrote, I realized that I had some of those same motivations, especially this past year. In 2009, I missed part of Saturday’s Walk, due to extreme shin splints. In 2010, I missed part of Friday, due to injuries from a fall while hiking 3 weeks prior to the Walk. This year I had physical problems as well and spent some time with the sports meds crew at lunch on Sunday. When he diagnosed my problem and told me what he was going to do, I said, “Great. Do what you need to do and tape me up, whatever it takes to get me back out there. I have a Walk to finish.” I was just a mile from the Golden Gate Bridge and less than 6 miles from Holding, the finish line. When I look back, I realize that this year above all else was about the physical challenge for me. It was very important for me to be able to say I walked every one of the 60 miles. While raising money to fight breast cancer was and will always be my primary motivation for walking, at that moment on the exam table in the medical tent, meeting the physical challenge of walking 60 miles in 3 days was the reason I kept going.
I’m not sure what my expectations were when I signed up for my first Walk. What I found was, quite simply, life changing. Having experienced it for myself, I cannot imagine how someone could participate and walk away without being deeply and profoundly affected. Jeannie, a first time Walker and 2 time Crew member in Atlanta, put it best when she said that the 3Day is humanity at its best. On Friday of my first Walk, as we were making our way up the Great Highway toward the Golden Gate Bridge, I got tremendous Charley horses in both calves, due to near heat exhaustion brought on by dehydration. I was unable to walk, to move, and sat on a bench trying to figure out what to do. A group of Walkers stopped and one woman recognized my symptoms and knew what to do. She massaged the muscles and finally got them to release so I could walk to the Pit Stop for medical attention. This was not an isolated event but rather a perfect example of the many acts of kindness and community that I saw that weekend, in each weekend I’ve walked and throughout the entire 3Day culture as evidenced by the survey responses. Traci, a first time Walker in PA, had an experience similar to mine. She wrote, “I was injured along the route, strained my Achilles tendon, and people I didn't even know slowed down to make sure I was ok.”
Brandi, a first time Walker in Michigan, wrote that one of her most treasured memories was one of the medics who knew exactly what was wrong with her and treated her with kindness both that day and for the rest of the weekend when they ran in to each other. I had a similar Guardian Angel disguised as a medic. Her name is Linda. She was in the medical tent that first time I needed help in 2009. She recognized my symptoms as heat exhaustion, provided treatment that saved me from a serious medical emergency and did it all with the kindness of a lifelong friend, thus winning my confidence and trust and saving me from panic. That Sunday when I entered the Holding area to wait for the group march into the Closing Ceremony, as I walked through the long, long receiving line of family, friends and fellow Walkers there to cheer each Walker, Linda stepped out of the crowd and gave me the biggest hug! She told me that she was so proud of me and how I rebounded from the near disaster of Friday to complete the Walk. We hugged and cried. We meet up each year at the 3Day and celebrate our friendship and common commitment to the cure.
Another preconceived idea I had before my first Walk was assuming that Walking was a one time deal for most people. I quickly learned that this assumption was incorrect. I overheard many conversations about what happened while walking this year or that, in this city or another, indicating that a lot of people I was walking with had walked before. I began to notice people with pins saying “I’m a 3-peat”, “I’m a 5-peat” and even “I’m a 13-peat”! There is an entire culture of people who Walk or Crew year after year after year. This was an interesting concept for me at the time. Now, of course, I completely understand and I myself am a 3-peat who is already registered for 2012.
We’ve already explored why people choose to Walk or Crew the first time. But why do they come back and do it again year after year? I posed this question in the survey and the answers were varied and filled with emotion as the respondents shared their memories. Heather is a 2-peat Walker in DC. She wrote, “I take pride in walking the 3Day. I know that I am lucky to be able to walk for 3Days/60Miles, which is something not everyone is able to do. It means that I am able to kick cancer’s butt for 60Miles and at the end of the 3Day experience I am exhausted, but ready to register for another walk.” Just like Heather, within 24 hours of returning from my first Walk in 2009, while I still had leg cramps and so many blisters that I was wearing my slippers to work for a week, I signed up for 2010. I have done this each year. It is now a part of me, just like it is for so many others.
One thing that keeps me coming back is the people I’ve met. Last year I encountered a woman along the route. She was sitting on the windowsill of one of the businesses in downtown SF. I walked past her on Sunday afternoon. I was pretty tired and in mild pain from tired leg muscles as we climbed up and down hill after hill. As I passed her, she asked if she could have one of the necklaces I was wearing. I stopped, gave her a necklace and a hug and chatted for a bit. She was a beautiful reminder of why I should stop whining about sore muscles and instead be thankful for the ability to do what I was doing, something she was unable to do. Each year I learn so many things about myself and learn lessons that build and refine my character. This is part of the life changing experience that is the 3Day.
Last year it poured rain for most of the San Diego Walk. It was Bethany’s first Walk experience. This is what she shared as her favorite memory from the Walk, “My most treasured memory was being on the final miles. Walking through downtown San Diego, soaked to the bone, my feet bleeding, my get up and go left me 14 miles back, and seeing a woman holding a sign that said "THANK YOU FOR WALKING FROM A SURVIVOR". I don't have any idea why she stuck out to me, but I stopped and gave her the biggest hug. I thanked her for standing in the pouring rain and supporting our efforts. There were so many people that were there to cheer us on, despite two out of three days being majorly rain. I hugged her, we both cried, I thanked her and she said, "No, thank you". I really didn't feel like I was the one to thank. I have not fought a battle like cancer; I have not been in the position to be staring death in the face. It was easy for me to lace up my sneakers and go for a walk because I was committed to it. I had raised $5600 towards it, I wasn't going to let my funders down. But this woman, a survivor, didn't have to take time out of her day to come stand in the rain, to offer a warm hug, to shed a tear with a complete stranger. She wanted to, it wasn't me who needed to be thanked... it was all of them. They hadn't signed any forms or committed any monies to be raised. They were taking their own time, their own monies, and supporting us. They deserved the thanks. She deserved it. She fought cancer and won, she deserved so much more than I could have given her.”
The 3Day experience can bring out emotions for so many. For those who have fought cancer or have lost loved ones to cancer, the Walk can bring healing and closure. Aymee from Atlanta shared this memory from her Crew experience, “My most treasured memory of the 3-day was during the first year I crewed. One of my teammates was participating for the first time -- it was my second. I asked why she was there and she said in memory of her best friend who she'd lost earlier that year and who had left behind 2 young children. She cried and I cried with her. At closing ceremonies we were against the barricade in the crew section near the Survivors. I had told my new friend that this ceremony would not be an easy one to get through. Well, sure enough as we celebrated the survivors, my teammate broke down in tears but what happened next is my most treasured memory. One of the survivors turned around and hugged my new friend as she cried for her lost best friend. I won't ever forget that moment.” The kindness and caring that is shared between Walkers and Crew, the Spectators and Walker Stalkers who come to cheer us and thank us for walking; it is so rare to see this level of pure, uncensored human kindness and compassion. This is one of the most compelling reasons that I go back and, I think, for others as well.
Wendy, a first time Walker in Tampa Bay, summed up her view of the 3Day experience in this way, “This event was bigger than I expected in ways I never thought of. I met people from all over the US walking for all kinds of reasons....I met cancer survivors and women courageously battling the disease now. I made new friends (I know that surprises you) and was inspired by the goodness and generosity of hundreds of people we encountered along the way. Everyday we were treated like heroes, being thanked by people passed...we were offered food, snacks, drinks, wet towels and applause and high- fives from strangers... The police wore pink, the firefighters wore pink, men wore bras and everyone wore smiles.... It was truly incredible.... I will have to do it again in 2012....”
The people who are part of the 3Day culture became part of the group for a variety of reasons. Each has their own unique memories and experiences from the Walks as well as their own reason to return. Commitment is the tie that binds us; the Culture of Pink is the spirit that compels us and keeps us coming back.
The Culture of Pink has an impact that goes far beyond the 60 miles. “Kindness rocks... I wish everyone were as kind as 3day walkers crew and volunteers 365days a year but for the 362 days I'm not with them I'll do my best to help others and make the world a better place who knows if I keep paying the kindness forward maybe it'll catch on and the world will be a kinder more helpful place,” Abby, PA Walker.
Appendix
Statistics on 3Day Walkers as reported by Susan G. Komen organization
For first 12 3Day Walks of 2011
Male Walkers – 2,400
Male Crew Members – 1,100
Walkers [W] and Crew [C] by City
Boston: 1,700 W, 375 C
Cleveland: 950 W, 325 C
Chicago: 1,900 W, 400 C
Michigan: 1,500 W, 450 C
Twin Cities: 2,100 W, 425 C
San Francisco: 1,500 W, 375 C
Seattle: 2,000 W, 375 C
DC: 2,500 W, 425 C
Philly: 2,200 W, 425 C
Atlanta: 2,400 W, 425 C
Tampa Bay: 1,500 W, 350 C
Dallas: 2,800 W, 450 C
Online Survey of Walkers, Crew and Spectators
I created the survey and posted to Facebook, Twitter and Google+, asking for responses from Walkers, Crew, Spectators and all 3Day Fans. There were 55 responses. The following is the demographic data.
Sex
Female – 48
Male – 7
Age
21-30 – 12
31-40 – 12
41-50 – 17
51-60 – 11
61-70 – 3
Type of Participation
Walker – 80
Crew – 20
Spectator – 10
City of Participation
Chicago – 1
Boston – 4
Cleveland – 6
Michigan – 2
Twin Cities – 2
SF Bay – 5
Seattle – 5
Washington DC – 8
Philadelphia – 23
Atlanta – 20
Tampa Bay – 13
DFW – 17
Arizona – 0
San Diego – 4
Response by city slightly skewed due to timing of survey and solicitation method. Request for survey response posted periodically between 10/16 and 11/6. Responses heavily represent the cities that sponsored Walks during or just prior to that time frame – Philadelphia (Oct 14-16), Atlanta (Oct 21-23), Tampa Bay (Oct 28-30) and Dallas/Fort Worth (Nov 4-6) making up 2/3 of the total responses. Because the request for input was made to the various social media sites, those who had either just completed a Walk or were preparing for a Walk would be more likely to be visiting the site for last minute instructions, photos from the events, posts from other Walkers and Crew, etc and would therefore be more likely to see my request and prone to respond favorably due to pre or post Walk enthusiasm.
